Now that I'm finally out of school I can breath and do whatever I want Got through finals, got through the AP European History exam, got through softball...whew. I'm glad it's all over- the only thing I have to sort of worry about now is my SAT Chemistry subject test....why in the hell am I taking it?? I'm going to SCAD- they don't care about chemistry! I'm out of my freaking mind Oh well.

Art wise, I'm progressing slow but steady. Having art as a class every day in school has really helped a lot. It's kind of like I've solidified my foundations more, if you know what I mean. I'm especially aiming to explore oil- I already painted my first oil painting back around February/March, but I just haven't gotten around to photographing it yet. My art teacher got me involved in a state-wide art competition- of course I didn't win but it sure was fun seeing all the entries. Here's the link to the winner:
[link]
shes' the 6th picture down and it's the picture of a green hose right behind her. Personally I thought it was a bit of cheap win- all it was was a picture of a hose coming out of the side of a building. Compositionally it was good, but subject wise very boring. I thought there were a lot of other excellent pieces that should have won- many other people felt the same way

Not much else going on. I can't wait until Coldplay's new album comes out!!!!!! Wheee!!! I've already gotten my hands on "Violet Hill" & it's amazing!! I'm reading Dostoevsky like usual..... watching CSI every minute I can......want to rent all "The Office" seasons and watch them.....I have lots of summer plans.....blah blah blah. Anyway, I doubt I'll be on DA too much (not that anyone truly cares ) simply cause DA kind of irritates me. It's nice to see what every one's up to, but 1) I rarely get the critiques I'm looking for, 2) I don't like sitting on the computer for long periods, 3) Lots of stuff on DA is same-o-same-o, 4) I have drawing to make and paintings to paint!and 5) When I do find an artist I could perhaps learn something from, they usually have so many fans already that they don't pay attention to their messages. Ah well, it's all good Dang I hate Florida. It's so freaking hot

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<sub>Yeahhh, what better thing to do than wake up in the morning to the kerosene furnace and a nice cup of hot chocalate while its 30 something degress outside? And then I get to play my PSP.....good stuff.

Sorry for being gone so much I promise when summer comes I'll be good (maybe). But for now, school takes top priority. Blarg to school Though Art class is good- I have a load of stuff that I can upload, but I have to wait to get it back from my teacher. I'm also playing softball ~wooty!~ I just hope I don't get my hand hurt or anything

I saw Pan's Labyrinth last night. Incredibly depressing but incredibly amazing too- definetly a masterwork I get to see Ratatouille, Transformers, Steamboy and Renaissance soon also (my mom went renting) Mannn, I have all the Christmas junk still up in my house and yard. My tree smells like it came out of someone's stomach I got 7 amazing books for Christmas- Dostoevski (of course), the Art of Yasushi Suzuki, and some others, and my parents paid half of my PSP and got me a game (SOCOM Tactical Strike) though right now I'm playing Final Fantasy Tactics (which had a horribly steep learning curve). And for a hobby I'm learning Russian (so far I've got quite a few letters learned) Good stuff.

Though I suck at piano so bad right now That stands as a big black blot on my good morning today. I should stop being so perfectionistic. Goodbye. Til later. до свидания</sub>

P.S>Dammit, its доброе утро not доброе y!! Don't ask me why it won't accept the whole word

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Здравствуйте!

Quote Of the Day According to Google:
Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed.
- Herman Melville

Word of the Day According to Google:
quixotic (adjective): Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality.

<sub>Speaking of words, I was just telling someone how strange the word "rural" is. Say it too many times and it becomes "rwurwrl".


It's all nice and cloudy outside.
I really wish it would rain

Curses to school AP European history is such a pain in the patootee. Maybe if I didn't have to outline every fricken night I would be able to draw and paint and indulge in other lovely activities! Eh, but I'm getting what I asked for I guess
Fine Arts Night at school is coming soon- Wednesday December 5. I can't wait!! There's nothing better than to be surrounded by art people for an enjoyable hour & a half

Soon I'm going to start reading Fyodor Dostoevsky's The Idiot and maybe Notes From the Underground. I'm a bit afraid to start them though cause I know I'll be so into them that I'll have a hard time putting them down (which is what happened with Crime and Punishment). I've decided that I must learn Russian at some point in my life so that I can read Dostoevsky's works in the original form and visit St. Petersburg. He's my soul-writer, through and through.

Just recently I saw the Yamato: Drummers of Japan They were jaw-droppping!! What strength and discipline! Rock & roll drummers can't talk compared to them

Christmas is coming!!! Time for lights, presents, happy loud family talking, coldness, get-togethers, hot drinks, and pumpkin pie!!! I already get my foretast of all this wonderful stuff with the Cinnamon Dulce Latte w/ Cream from Starbucks. If there's such a thing as a Christmas drink, then that's it, along with hot apple cider

I have nothing else to say. Till next time</sub> Пока!

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<sub>Wowsh, I can't believe I'm 16 (as of October 10)...finally.....but it just doesn't feel right! I keep getting older and older and time is slipping through the fingers of my mind like silver smoke.......

But anyway, onto the topic of art It's good to get on DA when I have time cause it helps to keep my imagination fresh and positive. Sorry I'm not talking to you all very much I've got 2 big projects to do- a cat pic for my aunt and a Christmas cover for my art teacher for the December Arts Festival at my school. Speaking of art class, I'm very pleased with it. The focus isn't on how to draw but rather on composition and the elements of style. Composition is definitely one of the most important aspects of a picture- it makes or breaks a picture. Unfortuantely I've always felt like that was my weakest point. Hopefully I'll improve with my teacher's guidance by the end of 10th grade.

I went up to Tennessee/ North Carolina for my annual mountain trip. It was good and all, but I won't give much details. But have any of you ever been up to Grandfather Mountain? If so, are you familiar with the trail up to the mountain peak right across from the mile high swinging bridge? Ug, that trail...jeezooos, if there's a hell, then that trail is in it Straight up, straight down in a fricken boulder field with ladders on the side of the cliffs!

Man I want to watch anime! ***Deprived and currently obsessed with getting straight A+'s in school*** @_@ Has anyone seen the new movie Tekkon Kinkreet? Is it any good?(it looks like amazing)

I'm also currently reading Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, so I want to talk philosophy. It's such a scary book but it's also wonderful just because of the sheer genius in it. I mean, when Raskolnikov (the main character) killed the 2 people I felt like I was killing them...it was horrible, but I couldn't stop reading it. It's so easy throughout the book to think, "well, what a terrible main character. I'm glad I'm not like that!" But, I think we all are so capable of what he is. We are all Napoleons......
>"But never had people considered themselves so intelligent and in unswerving possession of the truth as did those who became infected. Never had they believed so unswervingly in the correctness of their judgements, their scientific deductions, their moral convictions and beliefs....All were in a state of agony and no one else could understand anyone else , each person thought that he alone possessed the truth and suffered agony as he looked at the others..."<

For example, take a person who is feeling so incredibly empty. They're empty because they have looked upon the subjectivity of their own existence and are being smashed by it. Everyone around them is going about their lives, seemingly unaware of the crushing knowledge this one person has incurred. In this person's isolation, the thoughts of existence fester and become infected and begin to rot more and more. They hate others for their foolish interests, conceitedness and hypocrisy and ultimately because others don't give any regard to the state of being this person is suffering. The person begins to drown in their inner thoughts and the erupting confusion; to act or not to act melts into a mass of complicated feelings and questions. Their only reprieve is the day's tasks, but when idleness slips in, the remembrance of the gaping subjectivity of existence fires once more......

In the end, this person is a Napoleon, perhaps even more of one than the people they despise. As the horizons of awareness broaden, the subconscious effect of conceit gradually looms, although the person may be unaware of it, so preoccupied are they with their philosophical questions and judgments. So, what is a person in this position to do? How does one find a way to live with the gaping subjectivity of existence? I mean, if you think about it hard and long enough, it's easy to see the futility of society and everyday life, despite the fact that humans need a system to work in. But there's something more.....yet how can you find something when you don't know what you're looking for; you're not even sure if it's all your imagination or true. The feeling of being a part of something great and not being able to act on it because you don't know what it is!

Philosophy is such a useless thing It starts off at an everyday question, goes into a long, confusing explanation, and ends up right back where it started. One big circle, that's all it is. So why do I keep going back to it? Confusing a simple life and making it something it's not meant to be? I bet dogs know the secrets of the universe.

Whatevs Though I'm very interested in hearing your thoughts and additions- I don't care if it's related or not. Goodbyes for now</sub>

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